Once upon a time in BSNL ..

Adityaaa , check if the WiFi is working. A half sleepy soul stumbles out of bed and instead of looking at the modem to his left, accidently falls over in such a way that he opens the bathroom door and falls inside. Nice way to start the day! I check the modem once, twice, rub my eyes and check properly. Yes dad, ITS WORKING FINE! Without even brushing the teeth switches on the idiot box part-2. You are not connected to the internet. Network cable unplugged. My engineering brain sat down for a rigorous 15 minute checkup of the modem and its flashy lights. RJ45 and all the other associated nonsense. I finally gave up and called my wonderful service provider for help.

Welcome to Bharat Sanchar Nigam Limited. How can we help you? Recorded voices are always pleasant, aren’t they? I explained my situation after pressing thousands of buttons and finally my complaint was registered. Wanting an instant solution I called a linesman to check and he bluntly replied: Aaan, Ethernet cable gone. Go buy new modem. I stare at him in disbelief. How did you say that uncle? Light together no blinking pa so only. Romba sandosham! I take my scooty all the way to the telephone exchange and after finding my way through the maze, I go to the Internet queries counter.

Me-Madam, I just registered a complaint saying internet not working. I stay in Adyar. But now your technicians said  ….

CC-  Adyar ah? Metro rail they are making near the airport no pa? lot of cables got cut. That is why internet is not working pa. Next!

Me-Controlling my laughter and in a serious tone tells her, Aunty, your linesman said Ethernet cable is not working and it seems I have to change my modem.

CC- Oh ho modem problem ah? First itself you should’ve told me that pa. Sir, your modem was an outright purchase so we cannot replace or repair your modem. Next.

Me-I know that but your senior manager told me to get it replaced if I have further issues and this is just 3 months old.

CC- They will tell thousand things pa. You won’t understand all that. New BSNL modem is Rs.2250 only. If you want buy or else go register complaint. Nothing will be done. Go Go.

Customers (Goats) behind me get agitated and ask me to leave as I’m apparently wasting their time.

Dejected, I sit on the rat bit cushion sofa wondering what to do with the modem. A goat walks in and asks, Madam, remember me? Modem problem? Oh! You?  Sit down sir. How is your son madam? No sir, I have a daughter. Oh!ok ok . *Goyyale. Nee enna sonnalum unaku modem kuduka maatanga de! :P* Rejected, he sits next to me and asks, why pa smiling? I politely ask him, uncle, modem problem? Yes pa. this is 4^th modem I have changed in the past year. *Highly experienced*. Now they tell me no more replacements. What sort of management is this? I’m going to complain to the higher authorities. *Panni paaru de nee.* I strike a jovial conversation with him and notice another person walking towards a similar counter.

Man- Saar, my telephone line is one biggu problem. Last week your man came and saw and told no line fault but now again line not there saar. What do I do saar? If I call from mobile it is saying line is dead saar. No internet connection also saar.

He gives his telephone number.

CC- Sir, when our linesman checked your cable, everything was fine. But now computer is saying problem is inside the house only. Till the door it is ferfect! I think this is because of the new metro rail Sir.

*Ethana peru kitta da idhaye solluveenga? :O *

Man- How saar that alone is possible? I don’t understand at all saar. You please send your man again and tell him to check properly once more saar. Please saar. Thank you saar.

Unable to control my laughter, I burst out laughing when I see an old man carrying 4 boxes barging into the room saying: I WANT TO KNOW WHO MAKES THESE MODEMS!  I immediately step aside and let him sit on my chair. He shows us the boxes and says. These buggers have sent three different technicians bringing three different modems in the past one week. Only similarity is that both the technicians and modems are useless. I will not leave this place unless I get a modem in good working condition and perfectly installed. I can’t keep climbing the stairs of this building just for this purpose. Stunned, I looked at him and the least I could say was, Good luck Sir.

Power cuts from 8 to 10am in my locality and by the time I reached the office it was almost 11:15am and by the all this ruckus was over it was already 12:45. Government offices are always sharp with their lunch and closing times. I kept wondering what would have happened to the old man as I rode my scooty back home but in all probability, he would not have got a modem . Even if he did, it would not work.

This is not just for laughing guys. This is reality. This is exactly what happened in the BSNL office.

#Enna Koduma Sir idhu ?

#A true story! :)